Of Stitches and Sorrows
by leena1445
Summary: [Eventual JuuzouXOC] Kazumi is an Investigator at the CCG. Harsh towards the boy with the stitches. But when she finally befriends him, she develops lingering feelings for him even when she's changed...and can't smile for anyone anymore. (A/N: On a small break. I'll be back with this soon.)
1. Chapter 1: of meetings and firsts

**I have done some very drastic measures to my fics...just to make room for new fics, like this one! Juuzou doesn't get any love in this fandom, so I thought of this fic which is JuuzouXOC...very strange, but I want to take a new approach. The whole thing just seems interesting to experiment on. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT RIE KUGIMIYA IS THE JAPANESE VOICE ACTOR FOR JUUZOU...WHO IS ALSO THE VOICE ACTOR FOR AL, TRUTH, AND XIAO MEI IN FMA/FMA:B YASSSSSSSS**

**So, anyways, my OC's name is Kazumi, meaning 'harmonious beauty'. There's a beauty in that name and it represents her. She represents harmony in her actions and wishes to be equal.**

**NEW APPROACHES, PEOPLE, NEW APPROACHES**

**Kazumi-**

Age: 21, very close to 22 (Tokyo Ghoul: Root A- yes this going to follow the anime but later it's gonna follow the manga)

Appearance: Black hair in a tied-back curly ponytail, blue eyes, 90% Japanese descent (her mother had a genetic mutation of purple eyes so)

Clothing: When in civilian clothes, she wears a knee-length dress otherwise just shorts/jeans and a shirt. When in CCG, she wears the CCG uniform.

Affliction: CCG

Personality: (how do i even write this) Okay. She's kind of playful around friends, very nice, can be rude, and she used to be very very bright but that darkened a few tones. All in all, she has a very 'average' personality.

* * *

Chapter 1

"Oi, why do I have to meet him? He's the one who killed all those little animals," I grumbled angrily. Why should I have to talk to him? Couldn't other students do it? They were capable of doing it better than me. They could talk easily. I couldn't.

"Give him a chance. He was raised by ghouls; he's a victim. How do you know he killed all those animals?" Shinohara told me.

"But-" I gritted my teeth and stopped. Shinohara was my superior. No need to get in trouble again. "But I don't want to..." I mumbled under my breath.

"He's just a boy. There's no harm done in a boy, right?" Shinohara was unconvinced of my distresses. The boy, who was a boy raised by ghouls, who was a boy who could kill...he could kill me, probably, he could have been that experienced. Who knew the real danger of ghouls?

"...I..." I sighed and quickly opened the door with a click. The orphanage was a sad one, with bare walls and bland shapes. Most of all, its characters were...somewhat different. Like this boy. I knew his name was Rei, and I knew that he was not a good idea of a human being, befriended by the ones we called enemies. How do you trust a traitor? With the loud creaking of either the door opening or the bed squeaking, a squeal could be heard.

Looking up the boy named Rei, I saw his quite strange features. The pasty white skin and big, pretty red eyes stood out to me. He looked like a pretty young girl, not a boy. He looked about two or three years younger than me, short, but he looked quite excited to see another human. His big red eyes, which stood out so, ogled at me, getting even bigger as he looked me, an average human being, up and down.

"Hello!" He smiled widely at me. How could a boy like this smile, with one that was so carefree?

"You're Rei. The one who was raised by ghouls, no?" I inquired.

"I _am _that Rei. What's your name? Who're you?" He asked, interested in me so suddenly.

"My name is Kazumi. I'm a student at the Investigator Academy," I informed Rei.

"You're pretty," He beamed at me.

Me? An average, bland being like me? I felt somewhat flattered by his comment, but at another, felt somewhat sad and even angry. These conflicting emotions made me confused. No one thought I was pretty. He was pretty. If he were a girl, many boys would like him. But he wasn't a good, normal boy. This boy named Rei, he was a killer.

He looked innocent. But he was not. I knew that.

* * *

_1 Year Later_

My first ghoul. I was so happy to be contributing to the human race...and yet I wasn't. But Taiki, who was my partner, urged me to put that aside when fighting. When I killed that ghoul, I felt a bit pained, but that faded away as soon as he congratulated me for my very first kill as a 2nd Rank Investigator. I was younger at the time, and it was the following two weeks after my sixteenth birthday. My mother, my kaa-san, was a Special Class, very skilled. She may not have been Arima, but she was quite honored.

She was one of the ones I loved the most, one of my 'everythings'. I looked up to her very much, and was excited to become an actual Ghoul Investigator. Very excited. I had graduated two months before, and she was smiling when she found out. When I came home that night, she was glowing. "I'm so proud of you, Kazumi-chan!" She exclaimed. My mother was what I considered the prettiest woman I knew. She had a smile that illuminated the whole room. Unlike me.

"Kaa-san, someday I'm going to become a Special Class like you," I said. "Just you wait." She just smiled and wrapped her arms around me.

I loved her, and she loved me.

I thought about those things when that ghoul and I were fighting. His eyes were like those of a ghoul's, red and black. His kagune was like a tail, and it was powerful. His movements were incredibly slow, though, and so I defeated him with my quinque, which was beyond amazing. A quinque, my own quinque. Like a bow. I was quite okay with a bow, but wished I has something like a sword.

It took a long time and more than a lot of cooperation for me to kill him. He was a normal ghoul. Taiki helped me, and hit after hit for me was a miss, but afterwards, I got used to the creature's movements and used that to my advantage. It wasn't too hard or too easy. Blood, either mine or the ghoul's, was spattered all over my clothing and it was very annoying, but I accepted it. The swish of his kagune collided with my katanas, blowing me to the ground. When Taiki stepped in, I got up and just jumped back in, regardless of anything. He was occupied, fighting with Taiki, and I made a move, piercing him through the chest, ending his short life.

It was grueling at first, to know you'd be killing countless things regardless of species. It was the truth, though. That they killed humans just for enjoyment, and they ate them. They _ate _humans...why would such a thing exist? I was very happy there was something like the Commission of Counter Ghoul, as it was to kill them. At first, it was just for kaa-san, but soon, it was for her but for different reasons.

Different reasons, but for the same person.

How is that possible, they ask?

Of course it is possible.

* * *

_One Year Earlier_

"Kazumi. That name sounds weird," Rei giggled. I could not blame his babyish nature...but yet, I had reason to. He called me pretty when I was not. I denied all his comments and shook them off.

The boy named Rei was a strange one.

And I hated it, that strange nature of his.

**SO. My first TG fanfiction! How was it? It was short, but I'll try for longer chapters in the future! Thank you for reading and make sure to review!**


	2. Chapter 2: of disappearances and death

**And I am BACK with another chapter! Reviews are encouraged :3**

Chapter 2

I remember back until I was three years old. I had a good memory, why not put it to the test? I remember all about my trips to the coast and a lot of my horrible days in the park. I remembered my kaa-san and I remember my kitty, Mew.

I remember the ice cream shops we went to, and the best stores we shopped at.

And I remembered my dad.

My daddy was the typical oto-san***(1)** you could get, a worrywart, an overprotective man who was afraid of me interacting with other boys, who called me his little hime***(2)** and hugged me a lot. I loved him a lot too.

And then he just left. I was 10 at the time, young, but understood that he might've just...died and didn't show up at the time.

But he just left.

He could've at least said goodbye to us.

To me.

To kaa-san.

He just left.

* * *

_2 Years After Kazumi Became an Investigator_

The Ghoul. The ghoul that destroyed me.

He, _it_, was there.

It ripped me from part of my future, one of my suns was taken away from me. Right there, right in front of me, _it _was there. Why? Why did it kill for fun? Why did it want to kill? Why? What were their motivations?

Why?

All I was, the second definition of me, wasn't here anymore. The lit sun of my shadowed sky, the heart of my hollow body...was gone. Why? Its kagune pointed at me...then her voice rang through the street. No quinque, no nothing. Neither of us.

It destroyed me.

It wanted to consume me, the darkness that was the ghoul that was killed by the CCG that came one minute later.

One minute. And she would have lived.

Two hours earlier, we were enjoying the day off. Talking about ghouls...about us. Going to the market. Shopping for clothes. Just being happy, us.

Then _it _came, a ghoul. SS-rated. It was night, the stars flittering above, shining down on us. The moon offered light and peace. Bright lights of the city slowly turned off and some on.

"You two...look like some I could have entertainment in," it said, springing up behind us. "Hello." A wicked smile crept up his ever so pale face, waiting to pounce on his newfound prey. Us.

_The lion waits for its prey slowly. _

I whirled around, the streetlight illuminating his features, the red-and-black ghoul eyes we recognized so well...all in this man's eyes was evil. It was almost empty, as if there was nothing left in them. They showed dreams and...faintly of sadness and fury. Bursting out of his back, bulging red kagune, like a slimy, deadly tentacle, came. Then another. Two in total, they pointed me and one stretched so far as to stroke my cheek. "I like you." He said.

"Kazumi!" Her voice yelled. I turned back around. My eyes strained to see her darkened face, the flickering sparks of the ghoul's kagune providing almost no light. I stumbled backwards, falling to the ground as I tried to escape.

"Oh? And this must be the mummy! What great fun!" His demeanor grew unstable by the minute, his grin growing bigger like a watermelon slice. She walked small steps towards the ghoul. I was scared. "You two will be fun to kill!"

"Kaa-san?" My eyes widened ever so slightly. I could see her hair flowing in the breeze. "Kill?"

_The lion stalks its prey delicately, hungrily, desperate for its needs. _

"Kaa-san?" My voice shook. I could not see her. I could not see her. I couldn't. I couldn't. My feet stepped towards her.

" 'Kaa-san?' 'Kaa-san?' How pitiful! How...pitiful...!" It was insane. It. Was. The tentacle-like kagune recoiled back and he took sight of her. "Pretty eyes!" The kagune crept towards her body as he cackled.

"K-kaa-san...what...kaa-san...?" I was getting more nervous by the minute. My heart was beating like a bass drum, racing at 100 miles per hour. What would the ghoul do? My instinct was to run, but I could not do so.

"Get ready...girl," It said.

"Kazumi, run!" A voice said.

I ran away, hiding behind a bush.

_The lion leaps for the prey after stalking it so. _

I closed my eyes. The whirring of the wind in my ears was loud and angry. I was stopped in time.

Memories of laughs like butterflies fluttering in the air, licking ice cream furiously as it melted, new dresses bought, all rushed in my mind. Kisses on the cheek, "good nights", and snuggling with her when nightmares chilled my bones.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DOES IT FEEL SOOTHING? THInkING aBOUT yOUr NErVES?! LOOK, CHILD!" He cackled a disturbing cackle. Blood gushed everywhere, and I could hear her screams echo in the dark night. Screams wrenched in pain could be heard miles away. One arm, a leg, off the body and into the already-full body. More screams.

_Ice cream...laughs...playground...toys...graduation..._

I did not do anything. I didn't know what to do.

What to do...how?

More words. More screams. My breathing became hoarse. My eyes, snapped open, viewed the event. My hand reaching for her. I wanted to speak, but could not. She screamed more and more.

It must've gotten to me, because I couldn't take it anymore. It hurt. Clutching my hair, I yelled for it to stop.

"MORE! MORE BLOOD! I WANT! BLOOD! MORE! BLOOD! DON'T DIE JUST YET! HAhaHAHAAAa!" It was as if each time the kagune pierced her body, it pierced me. My heart started to shatter bit by bit. A piece fell off here, another there. Scream. Scream. Scream.

Scream.

"STOP!" I screeched. My eyes were closed, but the stabs were easy to hear.

Scream.

Another scream.

Silence.

_The lion eats savagely, delicious meat reaching the mouth. It rips it apart piece by piece. _

"_HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT,_ CHILD?!" He laughed and screamed. "THE BLOOD TASTES OH-SO-DELICIOUS, COME AND FEAST!"

Sick bastard. Sick.

The CCG came, including the one with the stitches and the white hair, whose name changed to Juuzou. "MAMA!" I yelled. He looked at me, eyes wide open. He said something I could not hear, and glanced at the body below. He shook his head like it was nothing and brought his attention to the ghoul.

"Guru-desu!" He yelled, with the slightest twinge of difference.

I fell down to my knees, not able to cry or do anything. I just stood there, pondering the scene that had just took place, my eyes all over the place, my whole body trembling not like ever before.

Suddenly, I just screamed for my life, at the top of my lungs. "KAA-SAN! MAMA!"

I reached out for her, running, screaming, but they held me back while they fought. "-KAA-SAN!"

I reached. I reached. I couldn't get to her.

I then took a view of her corpse, my sun, my mother...

I could not recognize this woman sprawled about, limbs deattached, eyes rolled back, blood all over, insides hanging out.

I could not recognize my mother. My mother, who had beautiful lavender eyes, silky black hair, a glittering smile...

I could not recognize her.

My own, previously beautiful, mother.

Only then could I cry.

Bitter tears streamed down my cheeks, making my dress skirt damp, my hands wet, and my mind changed.

**AN: Short chapter. More coming soon. Review if you liked! **

***(1) oto-san- dad  
*****(2) Hime- princess**


	3. Chapter 3: of parks and necklaces

**I'm back! Thank you, ashleygxflora, for reviewing! My first reviewer ;D It seems like there aren't a lot of reviewers in the Tokyo Ghoul fandom, actually. Anyways, after the horrific death of Kazumi's mother took place, she's gone a bit darker than imagined. Kazumi's mother's death was the real starting point for the story. I actually wanted to make it in the middle of the story, but I was like, "Oh, screw this, I'll just make it like in the beginning!" because I have a lot more 'tragic' plot points in the story. Also, perhaps I may make a Juuzou chapter once or twice. **

The only thing I saw for days were her, in her bloody, stabbed form. I ignored everyone, and sleep was never visited. Food wasn't eaten well, smiles were never turned quite up. I saw nothing but her unrecognizable corpse.

That night, I went to the park. My favorite place. The sakura trees flowed in the night, and I looked up at the stars, still twinkling their starry songs. The oh-so-familiar bridge was still rounded above the ever-running river, the moon reflecting its mellow colors in it. The streetlights were on, illuminating the whole thing. Some couples still lingered, holding hands. My bloodied hands were of attraction to their eyes, widening and quickly walking away.

The benches beside the sandbox were still there as always, and I sat down. I wish I had brung my sketchpad, but I knew that wasn't possible. Instead, I hung my head. I recalled the most recent of memories at the park; my mother and I, a month ago, gleefully strolling through. My head then continued to bring back memories I did not want to bring back. The tears from before, now dried on my olive skin, replenished themselves, streams running down my cheeks. I heard steps. Looking up, I saw Shinohara and a very confused Juuzou behind him. "Why?" I choked out. Shinohara was all seriousness, but gentle at the same time.

"The ghoul...he..." Shinohara said. "He got away."

I bit my lip, holding back another sob. More tears streamed down my now-ruined face. "I don't care." I said, which was a lie.

He sat down next to me, Juuzou still hiding. "Hey! Stitches boy! What are you doing?" I yelled at Juuzou. His eyes flickered around, not knowing what to say. Good. I wanted him to go away. I didn't like him at all. He and Shinohara both noticed my distress. Shinohara put a hand on my shoulder and proceeded to walk away, Juuzou following close behind.

I stayed awake at the park the whole night, in the warm summer air. I felt numb. Laying on the bench, I covered my arm over my face. "Kaa-san...kaa-san..."I yelled over and over. Letting out a cry, I slammed my fist on the side of the table connected to the seat. I heard some more steps.

"You forgot this," A voice muttered up above. Glancing at who it was, I saw Juuzou, Shinohara far behind. In his hand stretched out was a necklace, reading "love". My father had given that to my mother years ago. She wore it every single day. My eyes widened.

"...Thanks," I said.

He smiled and ran off to join Shinohara again after I took it gently from his hand.

I clasped it over my neck and sat for the rest of the night.

* * *

I didn't want a funeral, I just wanted her to be buried. But the CCG insisted. After all, "she was an excellent ghoul hunter and investigator," They all said.

Many of kaa-san's friends were at the funeral, Taiki, Shinohara...they were all there. Juuzou wasn't, which I was a bit thankful of. After the reception, I walked into the street and into the tiny patch of woods nearby. Finding a rock, I sat on it, gazing up at the sky.

"Rei-chan...we missed the funeral today. What do you think of that? Rei-chan doesn't care about it..." a voice a few meters away was heard. When he saw me, he narrowed his eyes. "Why are you here?" It was Juuzou.

"You missed the funeral, and I'm glad," I said. "But why wouldn't you care?"

"She's dead. So what?" He said.

I looked at him, surprised. "...Well, she...she's important to some people. I mean...I loved her..."

Narrowing his eyes even more, he said, "Love...is not...real..." He got more angry.

"Love is what holds us together," I argued.

"You're making me mad. Love is not real..." He stomped away.

I stared at him, disgusted. Then I wondered..."_D__oes anyone love him?_"

Does anyone?

**New chapter! It's only been a few days, so I'll give you this! Oh, also, these few chapters have been before the setting of Tokyo Ghoul. **


	4. Chapter 4: of killings and mamas

**And I'm back! I really really want to get my ideas out as fast as I can because after TG is over, I'm going to get out of the fandom pretty soon I think. This chapter will be told in Juuzou's POV (3rd person of course) and will include his past for a lot of the chapter. **

Juuzou

"Rei-chan, love isn't real! Love is fake..." He giggled. That girl didn't know what she was talking about, obviously! What a baka***(1)**! She didn't know anything. Besides, instead of standing there, she should have lunged! That would have been so interesting! But...no, she _had _to stand there, frozen like a block of ice.

Baka.

He switched his thoughts around because he was getting tired of this. "Juuzou..." He started. He thought of his mama. His precious mama.

* * *

_"Rei!" Mama called out in pride._

_"I have to be a good boy! Good-boy points! 20-30-40-60-80-don't die now! I still need _more_! 120-140-don't-DIE-YET!" Rei-_chan_ called to his agonized victim. "More! MORE!" He yelled as the screaming victim went silent. The burlap sack tied on his head was covered in crimson red. _

_Dead he was, the man, the whole crowd cheering, his mama coming, no, running down to see him and give him his good-boy points. "Good boy!" She smiled as Rei was dragged away. Rei was so very happy today! He had gotten so many good-boy points. _Good boy,_ she had said._

_What a good boy he was._

* * *

_He did not want to do this. _

_The gleaming knife in his hand shone in the bright lights, his mask sweaty and moist over his nervous eyes, which could not be seen by his mama. His mama...a _guru_***(2)**...was he one too? A ghoul? The ones who wanted him most...were ghouls...they couldn't be that bad..._

_The human, one like him. It made him sick. Sick to know that in a few minutes, Rei would have to slash at the man with his little tiny killing machine, called a knife. The knife was for killing. Killing his spirit, his humanity, his newfound victims. _

_"1...2...3...GO!" The gourmet said in English. Rei almost ran away, but if it weren't for the ghouls, the hundreds of them, he didn't. _

_He didn't, for his mama. _

_He would be killed if he ran anyways. _

_There was no escape. _

_So what he did-sickeningly-was kill the man. The man couldn't see anything, so after being stabbed a few times, he realized what was happening. Rei was horrified...blood everywhere...so many things around him...no, the ghouls...stabstabstab. Dead. Tears streaming down Rei's face, his mama came down, and said, "Good boy!" and smiled._

_Good boy?_

_Was he just a pet now?_

* * *

_He wanted to escape right now. He couldn't endure the onslaught of pain, emotional and physical. The daily abuse by his mama was sadistic and painful. He didn't remember his parents or his name anymore._

_It hurt so bad he forgot in the first few months within._

_She had named him Rei, and that was his name. __She did things to him that he couldn't take much longer but had to go through. Carvings all along his arms, leaving him covered in scars. Needles through his bled-white skin, poking out and in._

_It was too much._

_Every day, he waited for another human to come. His parents. Someone. _Someone. _His arms reached through the bars, wanting comfort and even death to come. _

_It never came._

_ It became a habit to smile until his cheeks throbbed. It became normal to kill. It became faint, the pain. _

_What had he become? __He didn't care. __He had his mama. His everything. His whole life. Who styled him in dresses and skirts, gave him wigs to wear, and smiles to smile. _

_That was him, and he embraced it warmly._

* * *

"Rei-chan, do you think that's love? Mama? Maybe so!" Juuzou smiled.

Love? Maybe love, but he wasn't going to think about that now.

There were better and more interesting things to do, and besides, he was going to get his nightly ice cream with Shinohara-san in a few hours.

**How was this chapter? Did I get Juuzou on point? Thanks for reading, and, of course, review.**

***(1)** baka- idiot

***(2) **guru- ghoul (as pronounced in Japanese)


	5. Chapter 5: of twins and mistakes

**Aaandddd I am back! New chapter. Hope you liked Juuzou in the last chapter!**

Kazumi

_2 Years After Her Mother's Death_

"Taiki!" I called. "Taiki! Taiki, you bastard!" Angry emotions mixed with the sad ones. Why did he go ahead for the One-Eyed Owl? The Aogiri Tree- made up of over 200 ghouls- in this building? I could not do that! A Rank 1 I was, upgraded from my Rank 2 class. First Class was next. Up to the big ones... Special Associate...and then Special Class. Arima...one of the best there...how excellent he was in his work.

Taiki...he, a First Class...up against the Owl? Special Class should deal with those things- they are, after all, the strongest.

Walking back, not knowing whether he'd live or die...reminded me of kaa-san. He had a wife...pregnant in her first months, a baby forming...getting ready to fight against the cruel world that we lived in. But...to do that...he would want his papa...his oto-san...even if it was for a single day...

I sighed. Ghouls lined up the whole perimeter. CCG was quickly exterminating them, and I was happy to know. But ghouls are not easy to eradicate for those such as Rank 2. I was Rank One. Rank One. I was very aware of how an honor this was.

Kaa-san would be happy.

Being upgraded to Special Class just before her death was unsettling for me. The metal walls were cold and eerie, like a walled cage almost. Then I heard a _very_ unsettling and familiar voice.

"Kurona...you're next!" It was...Juuzou.

"Rei!" The voice, suspected to be of Kurona's, yelled.

"It's Juuzou now...!" He yelled.

I peered into the room, taking out my quinque and in a fighting stance, I approached him. "You even changed your name so they'd make better use of you...how sick." There was not one ghoul, but two. Twins. One-eyed...

One-eyed ghouls? "Why would you become ghouls in the first place?"

They were not regular ghouls...

They were...artificial ghouls...

They were...half-ghouls.

After blanking out for quite some time, I snapped back into reality. As soon as I looked towards them, the girls were both already fighting for their all. After a split second, Juuzou was flying across the room towards the ground, one of them saying, "Do not think ill of us..."

"Me either." Juuzou replied as he got back up. It was like he didn't even feel the pain. He got right back up, with no wince or delay...how? The twins were caught off-guard when Juuzou was done unbuttoning his shirt, at least sixty knives hid under his crumpled dress shirt, his stitches creeping all the way down to under his tank. He had one of his insane smiles on his face. He had pierced his two victims in a flash, expressions of pain on their faces.

I blanked out again, glancing at the girls' kagune. More minutes passed until I heard a tantalizing scream. "Nashiro!"One of them yelled. The white clothed one had been cut by Juuzou's quinque, his scythe bringing her down with a whoosh.

"Hey, Juuzou..." I girl's expression...was sad. She looked almost as if everything could shatter. He needed to stop. Even if he was an Investigator...I didn't know what had overcome me then, but I wanted...to go over there and just stop everything. Back into reality I went. They were ghouls, and they were evil. They were all plotting for our downfall. We didn't understand them, and they didn't understand us. But...maybe...they just...were misunderstood.

"Nashiro...is the one that is precious to you!" Juuzou laughed. "Now, finally, Kurona...you!"

"Juuzou..." I whispered again. Why was he doing this to them?

And then they came bursting in my direction, the black clothed one glancing running faster. Her eyes looked...broken. She was in clear distress, and she just couldn't bring herself to stop. She glanced at me for a few seconds. "W-why...?" Tears streamed down her face, her dying sister limp in her arms, and Kurona's dress was bloodied. Her eyes were more dead and monochromatic.

Did ghouls actually have...feelings? I pondered this thought for some seconds as I looked over to Juuzou, who was yelling, "Wait! Wait! I haven't finished yet!"

I stepped out of the dark, my quinque gleaming in the bright lights above. Looking at Juuzou, I said, disgusted, "You must be satisfied with yourself, you...you _monster_. You must've been a monster when they found you too...killing your own kind. What, did you eat them also?" I spat. "You're a monster, you know that? You should have just killed them both when you got the chance. I pity them for knowing you."

Juuzou looked darkly into me, his beady red eyes staring. "I'd like to sew up that runny mouth of yours...the words you say are more annoying than Takizawa's." He walked towards me.

"At least Takizawa isn't so sadistic and bloody." I replied.

"Stitches would fit you very much. All people like you deserve thread through their heads. If I had some thread, I'd stitch you up right away, but I'll just have to compromise...how about...I make you...eat some flesh, isn't that what you least want?" He cackled.

"I may be an asshole sometimes, but I'm not like you," I ignored him completely.

He clenched his fists. "How about I go up and dig your mama up and stuff her bones down your throats? It's not like she can love anymore!"

"It's not like you would understand! You don't even have a mother!" I raged on. It seemed like he hit his breaking point, because he lunged for me like a crazy animal.

Pinning me down to the floor, he took a knife out of his pocket. "I DO HAVE ONE!" He snarled. "Now...let me make it so you avoid that frown of yours forever..." He traced the tip of my cheek with the blade.

He had a mother? "Who's your mother? A crazy lunatic like you?" At this point, he was so angry he could burst. Growling, he put the knife down suddenly and punched me in the face. Hard. Digging his nails into my neck, he bashed my head on the floor several times. I didn't have to scream because I was already satisfied with myself. I was happy, so it didn't hurt. "Boy...you're such...a...maniac...how about...your...dad? Is he-" He smashed his fist into my throat. I coughed and barely breathe. "Boy, they...they must hate...you..." Grinning, he lifted himself off me and threw me to the floor.

Pulling my shirt directly in his face, the cotton of it covering his balled hands, he yelled, "FREAK!" I grabbed onto his wrist.

"I already know that I'm broken beyond repair...there's no one to offer me any love," I smirked.

"I...already...told...you...love...is...not...REAL!" His teeth grinded. I smiled, falling to my knees.

Sudden tears rolled down my cheeks. "You don't understand what it feels like. If you had a real mother, she'd love you..." I said, my head down. I covered my face with my hands.

"You don't know anything. You're the monster..." He said.

I'm a monster. I'm a monster. As he let me go, I smiled.

It felt like a sweet eternity.

**Bitter chapter. Fave, follow, review! I'll be updating! :D**


	6. Chapter 6: of arguments and bickerings

**Heyo! I am back! I've gotten good feedback on this story! Thank you all for reading and be sure to review and fave and follow! :D **

Kazumi

Juuzou turned around as I smiled, and he looked beyond annoyed at all my actions. "I would do more to you, but I've got ghouls to kill..." Juuzou stated.

"I don't kill for fun. I do it for the sake of exterminating-" A hand clamped around my mouth. Namely, Juuzou's. What a freak.

"Now I _really _wish I had brought thread..." Juuzou said. Blood was flowing down my neck and there was most likely a small bruise or two on my jaw. He examined my face. "Sch." He let go and stared at me, the tears on my face now dried. "You're so useless."

"I wonder if I can punch you in the face and inflict multiple bruises on it," I sneered.

"Too bad. I can't feel it anyways," He stuck his tongue out at me like a kid.

"Who're your parents?" I asked.

"..." He paused for a moment. "I don't really know. I have a very good second mama, though," He smiled, expression changing in a matter of seconds. I stood up, trying to keep my balance. He buttoned up his shirt again and picked up his scythe quinque. Step after step his feet went to me. "...Your mama was kind. To someone like me, even." Bending down to where I fell again, he sat there next to me.

I hung my head, not caring about the blood dripping across my forlorn cheeks. "That's what love is. She loved everyone in the CCG, whether it be you or Amon," I said softly.

"Why do you go on and on about something like that?" He looked up at the sky.

"Have you ever even been loved or been in love?" I asked.

"...I...don't know," He replied. "I don't pay attention to stupid things..."

He stood up and offered to take my hand. "I pay attention to killing ghouls, like we need to right now," he said. Looking at his pale white hand, I carefully took it as he lifted me up from the bloody ground. "And I'm sorry for what I did..." He said.

"I-it's okay," I mustered. "I don't really...have anything to...live for..." I worded my words carefully and smiled a bit just so he wouldn't get worried, not like he would.

"Oh. Well, let's go," He waved and laughed.

Funny how he could just amend things and throw them aside just like that.

* * *

_One Week Earlier_

**[AN: I don't want this story to actually be that long, so there are huge timeskips. Please cope with this xD]**

"Hey, would you go in that room and monitor Takizawa and Juuzou for me? They don't get along very well," Shinohara had asked. I reluctantly said yes and went into the room.

Clearly, he did not realize I had a shaky relationship with the both of them, with Juuzou's insanity and Takizawa's arrogance, though I barely even knew or spoke to the latter. As I opened the door, Juuzou was stitching himself. The red thread made its way into his skin, with no bouts of pain coming from his mouth. There were stitches almost everywhere on his body, including one on his huge eye and one right under his lips. It made his unkempt appearance ever so eerie and it was, in fact, scary when you looked at it.

Takizawa looked very annoyed. "Kazumi? What are you doing here?" He was surprised when he saw me and a slight blush crept up his cheeks.

"Shinohara asked me to monitor you both because you two don't get along very well," I replied.

"Shinohara-san? Ah," Juuzou said without looking up at me. Without making any more conversation, I pulled up a chair nearby and sat next to the both of them. After Juuzou was finished and Takizawa was examining his papers, I started to talk.

"So, Takizawa...how is being an Investigator for you, a Rank 2?" I asked.

Before he could answer, Juuzou exclaimed, "Done! Ha-ha-ha!" He giggled loudly, and now his arm was swirled with stitches down to his middle finger.

"Would you stop that?" Takizawa yelled, the blush displayed on his cheeks growing evermore, looking back at me and him.

"Stop what?" Juuzou replied, clearly annoyed by his interruption.

"Stop your...stitching! It's so gross!" Takizawa replied to him.

"You're _so _annoying. How about..." He smiled. "I sew your lips together so you can't be annoying anymore...?"

"I can't believe you got promoted to Rank 2 without even joining the Academy. What a freak!" Takizawa said.

"Hey...I've got thread right here..." Juuzou grinned an even wider grin and leaned in close to Takizawa. "How about I sew you right up now?"

"Juuzou, sto-" The door opened as I was speaking.

"...Kazumi..." Taiki looked mad. "...you were supposed to be watching them-"

"Hey Taiki. It's okay, eh? We all know these three don't bond very well," Shinohara stepped into the room as well and smiled.

"Erm, sorry, K-Kazumi," Takizawa turned to me and smiled. "I know I can be difficult, at-at times." The blush on his face was unmistakable and ever so red.

"Heh, it's okay," I smiled back, his cheeks turning even redder. He might be arrogant and prideful, but he did graduate second of his class (Akira was Kureo Mado's daughter. Of course she would top) and he was nice when he wasn't bickering.

Everyone is.

It's just a matter of perspective as to where you put it.

**How was the chapter, everyone? This story's updating is very fast for what I normally do right now, so thank you! Also, I change the cover a lot. I just can't find one to my very preference. What do you think of this cover right now (3/17/15) and the kind-of-filler chapter? **


	7. Chapter 7: of lollipops and meals

Kazumi

"Juuzou, I'm going the other way," I announced after he had led me by the hand down a string of hallways. He looked down to where he was holding my hand tightly, trying to get me to come with him.

"Okay!" He grinned and let go. The blood on my face was dried by now. "If you see Shinohara, say hi to him for me!" He skipped down the hallway.

He wasn't all that bad.

Right?

Maybe my mind was deceiving me. Perhaps he was nice for the sake of being nice.

Maybe...not.

Maybe he was just playing nice for no good reason.

* * *

_Two Years After The Incident With The Twins **[again, huge timeskips, jumping right into the friendship because I can't handle detail well]**_

"Kazumi-chan...!" Juuzou yelled. "Where are we going?"

"To my favorite sweet shop. I'm sure you'll like it there," I said grumpily.

Immediately his face brightened. "Yay! Hey, Kazumi-chan, what kind of candy do they have there?"

"Lots of stuff. Lollipops, chocolate, lots of American candies there too. I loved all the American candies they sold at the shop...'Sour Patch Kids', 'Dubble Bubble', 'Jolly Ranchers'..." I said.

"Waaaoooww..." Juuzou said in awe. I knew he liked sweets and he was very unhappy at the time, as unhappy Juuzou can get, so to the sweets shop we went.

Once we got there, the shop owner, who was American but had a Japanese wife, greeted me and looked at Juuzou. "Konichiwa***(1)**, Kazumi!" Larry, the owner, said in an accent. "Who is your _tomadachi***(2)**_?"

"Juuzou Suzuya!" Juuzou announced as he browsed the arrays of candy.

"Hello, Juuzou," Larry said. He was very kind and he liked a lot of the customers he had.

"Kazumi-chan!" Juuzou pulled me over. "What should I get? What should I get?" He laughed. I smiled.

I still remember a couple years ago I didn't like him. Then, I still didn't know what love truly was, like Juuzou had said.

Love is _everywhere_. Friends are subtle love!

Kaa-san and oto-san taught me love.

They did.

* * *

One whole bag of candy, bundles and bundles of the stuff. What the hell was I even doing with my own money? Juuzou...I probably should have known a bit better, considering the things that Juuzou did. But he was skipping, with a smile on his face and eyes full of glee.

We sat down on a nearby picnic table. "Kazumi-chan! Can I see some of your drawings?" He grinned and beckoned for me to take out my sketchbook.

"Juuzou, you know I don't draw _that _well-" I was cut off by him.

"Lemme see!" He grabbed my knapsack and rummaged through the contents. Pulling out my sketchbook he yelled a joyful "hurray!" and looked through it.

"Juuzou! Give that back!" I blushed, because I was embarrassed at what he would think of my sketches.

"Kazumi-chan, I like this one! Can you teach me how to draw it? I wanna draw it!" He giggled and pointed.

He liked them. I didn't show my sketches to many people, and especially someone like him, merely a friend, if one at all.

"...Erm, do you have the pencils and stuff? The copic markers, soft and hard pencils...et cetera, et cetera..." I went on.

"Can I borrow yours? You...maybe...you...oh, maybe you and I could meet here at this park and you can teach me!" He smiled widely and ave me a thumbs-up.

I thought about it. "Sure," I said. He opened his eyes, smile fading a bit, and after realizing it, laughed excitedly.

"I can't wait! I can't wait! Oh yeah, I'm going to eat the candy now!" He smiled and reached for the grocery bag. Taking out a chocolate bar, he unwrapped it and took a huge bite of it. I looked at him and his strange features. What a weird duo, I'd bet.

I took a lollipop out and sucked on the sweet hard candy, flavored and tasting like sweet cherry. Not the horrible-tasting cherry syrup medicine, but the candy that tasted deliciously sugary.

It tasted like a warm summer day, one that I would remember.

* * *

_Two Years Before The Last Scene_

"Kazumi!" Taiki yelled as he ran up closer. My shoulder was leaking blood, and lots of it. It made me feel woozy. Another bite on the leg. Crying out with pain, the ghoul's kagune slithered up my neck.

"So deliciously sweet and so aromatic...your blood tastes so sweet...your flesh..." He groaned in delight. What a sick monster. He licked the blood off of my cheek and caressed it with his face.

"You-you-" I tried to inch away from him. "You bastard!" My quinque felt like miles away from my pinned-down body and I needed to escape. Taiki, who was fighting another ghoul, tried to get closer. I heard crunching and tried to see where it was...and then realized it was him eating me. _Eating _me.

"You're pretty too," He smiled.

"Get the fuck off of me..." I growled.

"Not if I can help it," He growled back. "Besides, you prove to be a very good _meal_...but if Yamori finds out, he'll kill me. It's worth it, though..."

"Gouru-_desu_!" Another sickening voice giggled. "What are you doing?"

Juuzou, what luck.

Licking his lips in agony, the ghoul reluctantly got off of me and stood up. It hurt too much to move. "...you look delicious too...let me devour her first, though..." His eyes looked crazed with hunger, surrounded by potential meals.

Grabbing my throat, he tightened his grip around my neck.

"I will have her first," The ghoul smiled.

**Okay guys! I'm sorry for the lack of updates right now. I have MCAS testing next week (oh, seventh grade long comps. Thank God I write anyways) so that may be an obstruction for my updates...but enjoy this kind-of-cliffhanger and Juuzou &amp; Kazumi's friendship! :)**


	8. Chapter 8: of dreams and sweet memories

**Short AN: I know this must be sort of annoying, but if you otakus have an Instagram, you could follow Cloudypelt, my other friends and I's anime fandom account. It's multifandom and includes fandoms like Tokyo Ghoul, Fairy Tail, and Attack on Titan. It's called theghoulmetaltitans and we would really appreciate if you could follow! Also follow Cloudypelt's Instagram, possessed . by. fandoms (without the spaces in between, of course)!**

Kazumi

Juuzou smiled. "Let's see if you can..."

Dropping me, the ghoul spread his bright red rinkaku kagune and his kakugan, pure black and red, gleamed in the bright lights. Grinning, he dropped me and announced, "I have others to deal with. You're just an obstacle. But if you must, I _shall_, eh?"

The world went dark and I closed my eyes, head hurting and blood flowing.

* * *

_My lungs were on fire. I couldn't open my eyes, and I couldn't take a single breath, no matter how much the strain. I needed oxygen, I couldn't breathe, I could not breathe._

_I felt dazed and sick to my stomach. My head throbbed; the pain was unbearable. Suddenly, opening my eyes, I was perplexed._

_I saw nothing._

_What I saw before me was nothing, a void of darkness. Was I in space? No, I wouldn't be able to breathe._

_But I couldn't breathe._

_Nothing entered my empty lungs._

_I was walking, though, on what seemed to be a floor. Nothing below me, just darkness. "Kazumi...Kazumi..." Voices called for me. "Kazumi!" I could not breathe. I could not breathe. I needed air. My lungs needed air, yet I kept walking._

_"Kazumi...Kazumi..." I knew them. I knew them. I knew them! Kaa-san...oto-san...Taiki..._

_I needed to go there...no...air...no...voices..."Kaa-san..." I rasped. My voice was almost entirely gone. "Oto-san..." I choked on nothing. Before I knew it, something spurted out of my lips and onto the darkness that resembled a floor. The metallic taste covered my tongue, offering nothing for oxygen._

_I gasped for air; nothing came. "Taiki-san..." _

_I heard a scream. As it got louder, the more twisted it became. Coming for me. I dropped to my knees and tried to lift up my hands, but I couldn't. The thing came out of nowhere. I tried to scream. No...no...My mind raced. I looked up at the face that was glaring at me. There was not a face, but it was an eye in the wrong place, no nose and long hair._

_The mouth had a tongue that slithered like a snake, with razor sharp teeth. I wanted to scream._

_My lungs could not take it. My lungs needed air._

_"You need oxygen?" It said._

_Suddenly, we were in a room full of people and I could breathe. Air. Air. Air! I sucked in the sweet necessity, savoring life. The floor that I was laying on was cold and hard. Coughing and wheezing, I looked above me. The thing was floating there. "What are you?" I asked._

_It ignored me and kept on going. Stepping in front of me, it cocked its head and stared at me. "You are a human," It said._

_I looked away, scared. "Are you scared of me?" It asked._

_"Um..." I didn't know what to say._

_"Everyone hates me and is scared of me," it whispered. "Why?"_

_"...I...I..." I could not speak._

_"When I see the city, I see things and hear things that are beautiful. Why can't I be as good as them? When I look at you, I am perplexed. You are a hateful person," it said._

_It bumped our heads together. "Are you afraid?" It hissed._

_"There is blood on your clothes," I commented, not wanting to answer its questions. Its tattered robe was worn with years of left care, black and sad._

_"Come here," It reappeared on a bench in the room._

_I sat on the bench. "I want to be normal. Underneath this robe and this mask, I want to be normal. I want to be like you, and even though you are hateful, you are beautiful. All you people are. I...I am a monster. I'm not sure I'm human."_

_"Why?" I asked._

_"I don't know what to do. Whenever people see me, they run away. Why have you not ran?" He asked more questions._

_I did not answer._

_Instead of questioning, he talked. _

_"I remember when I saw candy for the first time. I was older; and I did not know what it tasted like. It tasted sweet. I liked it. It tasted of happiness and warmth and niceness."_

_"I like candy too," I said._

_"I remember when she used to say 'I love you', but I don't know if it's real anymore. She said I was a very nice, good boy, but I don't know anymore. She said I was very good at what I did." It continued. "You're the only one besides him who listens to me. Even he doesn't listen. He doesn't know. Someday, I'll tell him everything. And he'll understand. He'll know."_

_"Who is he?" I asked gently._

_"He's my partner-in-crime. We do everything together. Well, almost everything. He buys me sweets almost every night, and we fight together," It said. Its mask seemed to slowly fade away, and I saw the stitches and his white hair and his broken smile. "I don't know if anyone cares anymore, but he does._

_"I know he does."_

_He continued on. "And one time I was drawing and he smiled at me and it was like he was my dad and I was really happy...I don't know why I felt that way, but he...it felt really nice. I liked it. I don't feel pain anymore; but I do. It's so complicated. But do you like me? I'm not sure if you do, so do you?"_

_It wasn't an it._

_I took his hand in mine and smiled. He stared me straight in the face._

_He slowly smiled as well._

**LINEBREAKLINEBREAKLINEBREAKLINEBREAK**

"Kazumi! Hey, Kazumi!" A voice called. Opening my eyes, I looked around the room.

It was a dream.

And Juuzou was in it.

**ROOT A IS OVER AND I WAS SO EFFING DISAPPOINTED AND HIDE AND KANEKI AND ;-; **

**THERE WAS NO FIGHT WITH ARIMA ;-; WAIIIIIII**

**oh well, at least we can count on the OVA ;-;**


	9. Chapter 9: of campfires and blackness

Juuzou

He saw her in his dreams that night, in a field that was quite confusing to him.

In the sky were stars, but the sun was out and it was bright. The trees and bushes were made up of cotton candy, and the flowers were made out of actual candy. There were a circle of people dancing around a campfire, happily stepping to the sparks of flame. The thing was, the fire was blue and they were greeting each other by saying 'good morning' when there was a campfire. They were quite all young and seemed to be near his age, but of course, composed and not as simpleminded. They didn't seem to notice him walking towards him.

"Ohayou...minna...good morning...everyone..." **[AN: making the translations in the sentence to make it easier!] **Juuzou muttered, to nobody. They didn't notice him here, either. "Do you hear me?" he waved to them. They wore...the normal CCG attire.

Where was Shinohara-san in all the midst of this?

"Oi, Takizawa. Would you stop blushing whenever Kazumi's around and get to work?" It was Takizawa's partner. Takizawa choked on the water he was drinking and his face grew even redder.

"I blush around her?" Takizawa gasped. His partner's expression darkened and looked at him.

"Idiot," His partner shook his head.

"Hello, Takizawa," A voice came from behind Takizawa. Kazumi.

"K-K-Kazumi...h-h-hi..." Takizawa quivered nervously.

"Do you know where Taiki is? His wife is waiting for him," Kazumi stated.

"O-oh, I just saw him around here a few minutes ago. He w-went to go see his w-wife," Takizawa stuttered.

"Are you okay? You're not speaking normally," Kazumi worried. Takizawa looked alarmed and his partner had a smug look on his face.

"Yeah, I-I-I-I-" Takizawa's lip quivered. "I'm fine!" He ran off to go talk to no one in particular. Juuzou didn't really care for either of them, and they were both jerks to him. They would have been a good couple, and Takizawa seemed to like her anyways. What bakas, idiots.

Looking around, Juuzou strained to get anyone's attention, and Shinohara wasn't there. "Hello, anyone? Please?" Juuzou tried.

"J-Juuzou...? I didn't know you were here. We would all have noticed you by now. Are you looking for Shinohara-san?" Kazumi said to him.

"...Konnichiwa. Hello. Where's Shinohara-san? I want to see him! I'm confused! The trees are made up of cotton candy and there are Investigators in a place like this with a campfire in the morning and there is a sun out but there are stars too and I'm scareddd!" Juuzou whined.

"Cotton...candy...trees? A campfire in the morning?" Her eyes widened and everything else but Juuzou and Kazumi disappeared, leaving the landscape and sky around them, and a black square hole below them. "What's going on?!"

She fell on top of him as they freefalled to the blackness below, and she was hyperventilating.

She grabbed onto him. "I hate heights sometimes," She yelled. "I'm sorry for doing this." And she appeared truthful. Normally she wouldn't even touch him at all, or even look at him. Right now, her arms were around him, clinging for dear life. It was like a hug, but he didn't really know what it was like. It was weird. All he felt was warmth.

Weird.

They landed with a thud. Juuzou was unfazed. Pain was nothing to him. Kazumi was scared out of her mind and she was whimpering like a puppy. Her eyes were closed and her face was pale.

"Is it really that bad?" Juuzou was annoyed.

"Yes," Kazumi replied. "S-sorry..."

"It-it's okay," Juuzou said. She tried to get off of him, but fell back oh his chest. Blushing, she tried again. And fell straight down again.

"I-I can't move my legs and arms very well," Kazumi was panicking.

"Well, try again," Juuzou was getting more frustrated. She tried moving her arms and succeeded, but whilest trying to move her legs, it didn't work. She cried out in pain as she bent it. Juuzou, being the careless person like he was, didn't know what to do. He didn't really relate to the pain she was going through.

"I...don't know what to do..." Juuzou said. He could see a light up ahead. "I'll try walking over there...but...I don't know...what to do," He started getting up, but Kazumi pressed closer to him.

"No! I mean...um...please don't...I erm, have a lot of sudden fears," Kazumi looked very serious.

So she wasn't the fearless, arrogant girl like he thought she was. Juuzou smirked.

"What if I leave you here? It's not like you can stop me...you can die here..." Juuzou laughed. Kazumi wrapped her arms around him.

"Please don't." Her eyes were as wide as saucers and were terrified.

"The next time you annoy me, I'm leaving you here," He said and lifted her to her feet.

They walked slowly towards the light. Well, he was half-carrying her, at least. And she wasn't really walking, more like shuffling her feet VERY loudly.

Suddenly, he heard a voice. Shinohara...? "Juuzou!" He was looking for Juuzou!

"Shinohara?!" Kazumi looked at him. Shinohara was right there!

Thing was, there was someone trying to kill him.

"Shinohara-san!" Juuzou yelled. Wait...

It was his mama. Which one should he save? Shinohara? His beloved mama? Kazumi?

Those words rung in his mind until he could not think. "Juuzou, leave me," Kazumi smiled.

"What?" Juuzou was surprised by her sudden gratitude and selflessness.

"Leave me."

A sudden wind blasted up and Juuzou didn't know what was happening. "Mama? Shinohara-san?" They disintegrated into the wind. "Wait! Wait!" Only Kazumi was left.

"...I..." Kazumi said.

"I'm sorry..." She said as she disintegrated too.

"WAIT!" Juuzou yelled. He ran into the light.

* * *

Juuzou gasped for air. "Wait..." He murmured.

He was sleeping. And he just woke up from a weird, confusing, and scary dream.

On the other hospital bed besides Kazumi's.

What had just happened?

Oh yeah, the ghoul...he had slaughtered it and left Juuzou with an injured leg, apparently 'no good for Investigating'.

"Juuzou...hey, thanks for the save back there...even though I blacked out before I could see," Kazumi was sitting on her bed.

"It was fun!" Juuzou smirked. But he didn't know what had happened.

"And...well...I'm sorry about a lot of things...so erm...oh well," Kazumi muttered under her breath.

"Sorry...?" In his dream, she said 'I'm sorry' too. "Sorry, eh? Well, I'll leave you to get eaten next time if you're not!" He grinned.

She smiled. "I'm glad," She said.

**Yeah, that was confusing. Sorry. Feedback? The part before the line break is Juuzou's dream. This chapter was kind-of filler but it introduced their new friendship. **

**I'm still not over Hide ;-; **

**HIdE is mY SuN Wgiaoerfljal;ieura; also be sure to read, review and fave! Thank you for reading :)**


	10. Chapter 10: of metal cages and ice cream

**AN: We have reached the point where I am trying to write my best. I've gotten to chapter 10, and because of my non-updating nature, this is excellent. I haven't gotten to this chapter in any of my good stories...chapter 10 everyone.**

**Cheers...**

**Also. **

**We can go home now, Hide.**

**We can go home ;-;**

**YOU AREN'T DEAD OKAYYYYY ;-;-;-;-;-;**

* * *

Juuzou

Juuzou cried out in pain as he was struck by that woman ghoul's crowbar again. He looked around at all the other human children, who were dead.

Not dead outside, but non-living on the inside. All older than him by a few years, they had lost every single shard of hope that could have been given to them through their hearts. Their eyes held nothing in them, just a shell of what they once were.

Every time he looked at them, he thought how he hadn't lost hope of escaping this hellhole yet. And the years ahead? Well, he could be outside.

He was never let out unless during early morning or midnight. Even then, there was always a collar on his neck, a leash tugging at his throat. He whined when he was dragged back to that cage, with its metal bars and cold steel floor that was called his bed every night. He longed for the warmth of someone at night, because that steel floor was cold and bare, and he had no blanket ever wrapped around him.

And the blood that poured out of his wounds never ended, crying out in agony every night, it never stopped. That woman ghoul said his name was Rei. Rei-_chan. _But wasn't he a boy? Soon, he was swept up in gowns and jewelry. Dresses and long hair...he was a girl, because the ghoul said so. But Rei was a boy. So why? Well, he couldn't _say _anything about it. So he just didn't talk about it...and focused on the good-boy points that made him _happy_.

Thinking about it nowadays, as a Ghoul Investigator...he thought about those points as _happy_, but it wasn't. Did he care? No.

Maybe he did.

He did.

No he didn't. Why would he care?

Why were they a happy thing?

He tried shrugging it off and smiling, but instead he ended up on the floor, curled up into a ball, sobbing.

_Nande? Why?_ He thought.

_Why?_

* * *

Kazumi

_At the Hospital, After Saying Sorry_

I looked down at the floor. There were ghoul bites on my shoulder, my arm, my collarbone, and thighs. Every time I looked at them, I was mortified. The way he tried to eat me was terrifying.

"Tch, Kazumi." I heard Juuzou say.

"What? I'm just thinking," I said harshly. "Did you kill that ghoul?"

"Yes. He tried to eat me!" Juuzou complained.

"Well...how about I treat you to ice cream sometime?" I asked.

His eyes widened and he smiled. "Yay!"

* * *

I thoughtfully licked the spoon. The sweet taste of vanilla swirled around my tongue.

"Arigatou gozaimasu! Thank you very much!" Juuzou said happily.

"It's-it's on me," I smiled. "Do you like sweets?"

"Yes! I love them! Candy, cakes, ice cream, donuts, every thing of that thing...!" He grinned at me.

"That's good. What do you like to do in your free time? I like drawing," I made conversation.

"Um...well, I like stitching myself," He smiled.

"Oh. So you don't feel pain?" I asked.

"No," He said.

"That's nice. I'd like to not be able to feel physical pain. It hurts, " I stated.

"Well, I used to be able to feel it," He said. "But I don't feel it anymore, so."

"Ha, yeah," I tried to smile. My wounds were beginning to heal.

Juuzou smiled at me. "You're weird."

"I know," I said.

"But it's okay. You're good at killing ghouls!" He giggled.

He wasn't bad at all.

Not at all.

**So, it was a short chapter. I hope you liked, and feedback is always appreciated. See you next time, guys! **


	11. Chapter 11: of fairies and colors

**I'm really happy you guys are continuing to give feedback. Thanks. Y'all are helping me.**

Kazumi

The flickering of the brush made the wings, every smooth line of blue-green teal nicked its way onto the canvas, etching itself to the painting. The fairy's beautiful stature pranced above the meadow that it was running about on. Dark electric blue locks, silver-sky eyes peering at you. Pale porcelain skin like a china doll, rosy red cheeks that brought warmth right to your body, pink lips that smiled at you.

They lived in a truly safe, happy world, full of beauty and excitement each day. With glittering wings, they could soar above the clouds, laughing amongst themselves.

My finished product was, in fact, a fairy. In a happy place.

Much better than ours in dreary Tokyo, ghouls infesting the place.

"That's amazing, Kazu-chan!" Juuzou said, startling me. I'd forgotten he was there.

"Oh-uh, thank you," I said. He smiled at me.

"You're really good at drawing!" He said.

"I-it's just a hobby," I smiled.

"You're really good though!" He shouted.

He thought I was good. He really did.

"T-thanks."

"Draw something else! Draw something elseee!" He whined.

I laughed. "What do you want me to draw?"

"Um...a...how about me?" Juuzou smiled widely. I laughed even harder this time.

"Sure, Juuzou," I said.

"You can call me Juuzou-kun if you want," He said.

"Oh. Um, then...Juzu-kun, how about that?" I asked.

"I like it! You can call me that!" Juuzou said, flailing his arms happily.

"So, Juzu-kun, I'll draw you, how about it? Oh, Takizawa's coming over tonight. He said he wanted to spend time with me. And because you two...em...don't have quite the good relationship-" I was interrupted by a nervous Juuzou.

"Oh! I have to go see Shinohara! I have to do something! Sorry I can't stay longer, Kazu-chan!" He made a quick departure, running out of the room. He waved.

So he wasn't paying attention.

Of course.

I heard a knocking on the door. What perfect timing. "Kazumi-san?" I heard someone say.

"Takizawa?" I was incredibly unkempt with my paints all over my apron.

Opening the door, there stood a casually dressed Takizawa. "Was that Juuzou? He looked at me and then just ran off," He said. Looking at my painting and my disheveled appearance, he smiled awkwardly. "You were painting again. You're an amazing artist, by the way," He continued.

"Thank you. Yes, I was painting with Juuzou. And sorry about...me," I said. My hair was up in a messy bun, curls running down the sides of my face, blue headband slowly running off its place. My sweater made it so it was burning hot.

"It's okay. You look pretty," He said, and suddenly made a gurgling noise at the back of his throat.

I laughed lightly and welcomed him inside. Walking in, he blushed. "Also, you can call me Kazumi-chan. I don't like it when friends call me formally," I said.

"Friends?" He smiled shyly, almost to himself.

"Of course," I said.

"O-oh. T-t-that-t's g-go-good!" Takizawa stuttered.

"Relax, Seidou. You okay?" I asked.

"Oh, I-I-I-'m fin-ne," He smiled widely at me.

I smiled back.

"So, what do you want to do, besides just hang around? Do you want to take a walk around town or..." I asked.

He considered this for a moment. "S-sure," He responded.

* * *

"It's awfully nice out," I said.

"Yeah. 5:00 PM eh? The sunset'll be coming out soon," Takizawa agreed. The fall leaves were colored like gems on their trees.

It was truly beautiful. I loved it. "Don't you love autumn?" I asked.

"The fall? I do. Spring is better, though," Takizawa smiled.

"You have to admit though, the leaves are beautiful at this time of year. The sunsets are beautiful each day," I said.

"Yeah..." He said. Suddenly he looked straight at me. "Do you want to...maybe watch the sunset?"

I pondered this for second. I hated the dark. Very much. But...we would just go home after. "Okay," I said in a small voice.

Sitting down on a bench nearby, I laid my head back. "I've always loved sunsets and hated them at the same time," I said.

"What? Why?" Seidou asked.

"Because after it sets, it's dark. And when it's dark, it scares me. It reminds me of that night. The night...my mom died," I said. "But all the while, they're like a painting within themselves. They're so pretty. The colors are so beautiful."

He stared at me. "Your mother was really nice."

"You know, everyone says that. Am I nice?" I asked.

"I think you are. You're really fun to be around. And I know Juuzou used to hate us both, but now he's friends with you. He still hates _me _though," Seidou responded.

"I don't think he hates or likes anyone," I joked around. It faded away as I said, "He said my mother was kind too, to even a person like him."

"You're following in your mother's footsteps," Seidou smiled.

"Say, do you like Akira?" I asked.

"N-no!" He blushed.

"She's certainly pretty. Well, more pretty than me," I said.

He placed his hand on mine and we sat together in silence. "I think your'e pretty. Juuzou thinks you're pretty too. He admires you," Seidou said.

Juuzou.

Juuzou.

_Juuzou._

**That was a truly shitty ending but I just wanted to update xD Thanks for all you've done!**


	12. Chapter 12: of zoos and art competitions

**Hide is still my sunshine after all this time. SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! **

Kazumi

"Where's Juuzou-kun?" I asked. Shinohara-san glanced at me.

"Now that I think about it, I think he's at the zoo." Shinohara-san announced.

"The zoo?" I asked. The zoo?

"Yeah, he goes there sometimes." He said to me.

"...Oh." I said. Recently, I had been thinking more about him, for who knows what reason?

"Kazumi, if you want to go see him, just go," He smiled.

* * *

"Juuzou?" I asked, walking beside Shinohara. Juuzou was sitting there, smiling as always, petting a stray cat. Shinohara went on, and I walked behind him now.

"Oh, Juuzou. Hello," Shinohara-san called.

He was drawing.

"I like it," I said.

Juuzou looked up. "Shinohara-san! Kazu-chan!" And he smiled.

Sitting down next to him, I said, "How is everything?"

He replied with a smile that made me smile too.

As we walked away, I noticed he switched sides, standing next to Shinohara. And then I noticed the boy and the father a distance away standing like them.

Father and son.

* * *

"Kazu-chan, where's your daddy?" Juuzou asked.

"I don't know. I live alone. I'm 18," I said.

"So you don't really have parents?" He asked.

"...Well, no. I just haven't found my father yet," I replied.

"You're lucky," He whispered. "You had a father and a mother for so many years."

"...You have...Shinohara-san..." I said.

"...He's not my real dad. He's just my partner!" He giggled.

"So, what was it like, being raised by a ghoul for so many years?" I inquired.

"...I...don't know...it wasn't fun like it was now." He said.

"Well, you're not a ghoul. So...they must have done things. Did they experiment on you?"

"No."

"Did they attempt to kill you?"

"No."

"...Did they hurt you?"

"...N...no..."

"Why did they hurt you?" I whispered.

"I don't know."

"Well, you're here with us now."

"...Yeah," He thought about it.

I blushed for no reason at all, or of that I knew. "Do you want to do something else?" I asked.

"...I don't want to," He answered with a dulled tone. "Can't you just stay here? With me or something? I don't want to do anything."

"O-okay...?" I blushed even harder. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," He said. Leaning his head on my shoulder, he closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" I remarked quietly.

No response.

"What are you doing?" I repeated.

No response this time either.

So I just let him rest his head on my arm like an idiot for about a half an hour. I didn't want to get up in fear of him raging against me. Or just because I felt like it was unjust to just get up and leave.

Smiling sadly, I said, "When I was a little girl, my oto-san used to call me his princess."

"Truth be told, I thought I actually was a princess. I loved the color pink. I did. I drew every single day, and I absolutely loved it. Because they told me I drew really well," I continued. "My mother often took me to the park because I loved walking across the bridge there, looking at the animals that swam in the pond, eating snacks that she bought me at the bakery. I also had a really big obsession with lollipops. I loved them. A lot. They were my favorite candy and still is my favorite candy.

"I entered an art competition when I was 12 and got fourth place. It was my first comp and I just about sobbed my eyes out. Somewhere in my mind, I knew that I'd get better though. The year after, I entered another one when I got over my fuss about the first one and then I got second place before I knew it. I could've had the best day of my life, but I want to save those days for when I fall in love and see my dad again. You know, get married. That kind of stuff. And when I get to Special Class," I joked.

"You really like lollipops? That much?" Juuzou pitched in my speech to him.

"Yes. I love all kinds of lollipops. It's really weird," I answered.

"Oh." He had a huge smile appearing on his face.

Wrapping his arms around me, he said goodbye and left my office room.

"Kazumi, what are you doing?" Taiki said behind me.

"Get back to work!"

**Sucky chapter while waiting for a long time? I'm really sorry. Bigger things will happen soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing and whatever you do!**


	13. Chapter 13: of new ranks and new ghouls

**Hey guys! Welcome back to another chapter! As always, if you liked, leave a review, favorite, or follow if you wish ;)**

Kazumi

The days were more normal after that. I could focus more on myself and my ghoul investigator work. Second class didn't always mean you were on the field, it meant less office work. Because of the low-profile ghoul shortage and more of Aogiri Tree, I didn't have way too much to do with it. All I really did was the filing and the paperwork most days of the week.

Up until I was promoted.

To be honest, I was surprised. I wasn't that good. Or, in my opinion, I was terrible at my skills. Were they just pitying me? That I wasn't following in my mother's footsteps very well? That must have been it, because I was doing paperwork when they called me to the main office.

I didn't know, actually, that I was being _promoted_, so instead I thought I was going to get _demoted_, which was when I started panicking. For about five minutes, I spent my time walking down the building hallway thinking that I would either get demoted to even getting more training in the Academy or getting fired.

Which almost never happened here. Most of the people who pass the Academy stay permanently until they quit, retire, or die in some way (mostly by the ghouls, which happens often). And those who don't pass are the ones who give up.

It's really not easy to be in the Academy because of the very long years of training without too much break get to some people. You have to be some level of smart, quick, and strong. A lot of us are one or the other. The higher-up Investigators who've had more experience, like Arima and Amon, have all of those qualities. Which is why people die.

People here have died a lot.

Even Investigator Mado-san, Akira Mado's father, was killed by an SS-rated ghoul, Rabbit. The one with the kiddy rabbit mask and was looking to be like a girl. The ghoul that had the ukaku kagune and the rage-y type of temper.

But that's why we were all here. To _defeat_ the ghouls. To make sure no one else dies.

The whole promoting thing must have gotten to me, because the moment Special Class Investigator Marude announced that I was a first rank I started laughing hysterically when he passed me the certificate for me to keep and he looked at me with the most surprised and 'are-you-okay' face I'd ever seen.

I was happy, surprised, angry and sad all at the same time. When Juuzou congratulated me, I started laughing hard again and he asked me if I was insane. Instead of saying, "No, you baka!" I hugged him and said "No. Well, probably. Maybe!" And smiled like I was given the sun to wear around my neck.

I think I even accidentally hugged Takizawa.

Well, of course it wasn't accidental because I did like him as a friend.

He was confused.

It didn't matter. I was happy, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

_One Week Later_

"Kazumi, nice job on the promotion! First Rank must be cool! Next up is First Class..." They had said. "You'll do so great! You'll love it! First Rank! When you're up in Special Class, you won't even have to move your spot!" They said. "You won't ever want to quit now! You're getting farther and farther!"

Wrong.

Wrong.

All wrong.

They were all wrong.

I hated it. Moving up.

It was a mission to stop an SS-rated ghoul nicknamed "Crescent" because of the moon crescent mask he wore. Another One-Eyed Ghoul he was. Like those two twins...I wondered if they died, especially the injured one. Nashiro, I remembered.

"Crescent. He's an SS-rated. And a One-Eyed at that. He's been on the loose for quite some time, and he...showed up recently...and asked for a person he had in his mind, I suppose- but that someone was, particularly, a girl who he presumed was about 18 or 19 now, named Kazumi- and we think he was either telling the truth or hallucinating," Taiki said.

"What? He wants someone like _me_?!" I asked.

"Yes, apparently. You're going with Juuzou and Shinohara and me. So. Be prepared. He might want to kill you," Taiki replied.

"It really doesn't make a difference if I die just because the only people I have are you, Shinohara, Takizawa, and Juuzou," I joked.

"Don't be a jerk," Taiki muttered.

* * *

The doors swung open as I entered the building he was presumably located in. "Come out, come out, wherever you are, _guru_-desu!" Juuzou cackled. I thought he was going to be normal(er) this time, but I was wrong (of course).

"I wonder why he wants a girl named Kazumi," I whispered softly to him. I noticed the excited glint in his eyes as he skipped around the dulled iron room.

"Maybe it's you. You're Kazumi," He said back.

I heard the clink of a boot, and getting my new quinque ready, I prepared myself with a stance.

It was another scythe, but very different from Juuzou's. It was just like a death reaper scythe, but serrated towards the tip of the blade, and double-bladed, a red and black beauty reserved for my use. I still thought Juuzou's was better than mine, at least, because it looked pretty badass.

Who came out was not Crescent, but many lesser ghouls. One of them straight at me with a deafening glare. "Is one of you named Kazumi?" It said in a quite brooding tone.

Instead of answering, we charged for them. Well, Juuzou and Taiki did. I stood there, wondering if I should say yes or no or maybe or some kind of weird comeback.

"Guru-desu...I'm killing you...and your friends! Stay away from Kazumi-chan!" Juuzou grinned with pleasure, slicing through all the ghouls.

Why my name?

Couldn't it have been a Sakura, or Akame, or Kaede, just not Kazumi? Really?

The ghoul's head shot up fast as a whip. "You. You're Kazumi," It pointed at me with a shaky finger.

I still didn't know whether to respond. But, without hesitation, I ran for him, poised to kill. "Why do you want me?" I said in an unstable, non-intimidating tone.

"Akiyama Tamotsu wants to look for a girl named Kazumi. His orders...not mine," It said, dodging my swings. I stopped right in my tracks.

"Akiyama...?" I whispered. "That's-that's my...surname..."

Wait.

Tamotsu...I stood there with horrified and shocked emotions running through my mind.

"That's enough, Katsuo."

A voice that I recognized.

The ghoul named Crescent walked into the room, only focusing on me.

I whispered loudly.

"Oto-san...?"

**Aaaand cliffhanger! **

**Well, sort of. But be sure to leave a review and fave and follow as you wish. Thank you for reading! **


	14. Chapter 14: of crescents and fathers

**Back! I would appreciate some more faves, follows, and reviews, but that's really just small things that you don't need to do. There's one thing: What should I do to improve?**

**Thanks for reading! **

Kazumi

This man...could not be my father.

A ghoul could not possibly...not possibly be my father.

"Kazumi?" This ghoul, this...imposter...said. "Kazumi?" He seemed so...normal.

So unchanged.

I banished the thought from my mind. He was not my father.

My loving, caring father. "You're not...my dad..." I took a step back.

"Kazumi...I-I-I know you think I'm not your father, but-"

"You're not my dad!" I repeated.

"I-I am. I just changed a bit, that's all," The ghoul said. All the other Investigators were shocked. I noticed in particular, Juuzou was very, very confused and darkened.

"But even if you're my dad...you can't...you're...my dad isn't...a ghoul..." I stated slowly.

"I-"

"Hey, guru-san, I dunno about you and Kazu-chan, but you're a ghoul and she's a Ghoul Investigator," Juuzou announced.

"I'm Kazumi's biological father. I just wanted to see her. If Kazumi's an Investigator, then why isn't her mother-"

"My mother should not be talked about from a degraded being like you," I interrupted coldly, with no remorse for the impostor. With that, I breathed deeply and sucked in the metallic air, charging towards the ghoul.

Bikaku.

"Zumi." The ghoul said firmly, shielding himself with his kagune from my blows that could destroy a normal ghoul.

My father used to call me that.

"_Urusai!_ Shut up!" I yelled.

"Where's your kaa-chan, Zumi?" He kept talking, even though I was going to kill him, to pierce him through. My father was an honored man. "Why isn't she here?"

"Dead," I said without thought.

The bikaku ghoul stopped right in his tracks, pausing for one second. Enough for one of Juuzou's knives to cut him to the bone. Gasping for air, he fell, trying to pull out the blade, soaking up his crimson ghoul blood.

His mask flew off his face, revealing his face to the entire room. The one ghoul eye he donned was prominent, and he looked at me with an intensity in his eyes. I instantly looked away. He couldn't be my father. He was a ghoul. No one in my family was ghoul.

Unless he was turned ghoul by something else...

My thoughts were interrupted by Taiki, who, with his quinque, whispered, "Marude wants him captured..."

"You idiot..." I hissed back. "I want him dead."

"He won't be able to," Taiki replied. "And why dead? He might be your real dad," he teased. As the ghoul slowly got back on his feet, Juuzou threw another knife.

All the other ghouls were surrounding us by now, and I had been mercilessly stabbing them. "Why won't they just dieeee?" Juuzou whined.

I growled, unable to speak, as I dashed and flew around the room crazily, trying to eliminate all the lives of the ghouls that targeted me. My quinque proved to be useful. I beheaded, stabbed through, sliced in half, did whatever I could do to kill. I could hear them trying to yell out useless commands at each other.

I was just doing my job.

These small-fry ghouls, I just flicked them away like they were pests. Ghouls were monsters. They killed my mother. Murdered my colleagues. They even tried to act to be someone else.

A blow to my head knocked me off my feet. My head spun, unaware of what was going on. When I opened my eyes again, everything was blurry. Focusing too much on my thoughts cost me too much. I couldn't see either, because too many tears fell down my cheeks. I dizzily attempted to stand back up, but their kagune was more powerful than my own quinque and I wasn't focused. "You're delusional," I choked out to the head ghoul who thought he was my father. By now, the ghouls were all dead but him.

There came no response, but a hardened expression that read "_shine_". Die.

"Kill him," I whispered. "Juuzou, kill him. Kill him! _Minna wa shine sete_! Let them all die!" My voice raised steadily as I cried out my pleas.

"Kazumi!" Taiki yelled fiercely as I stood back up. "You'll die!"

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

More.

_Not my father._

That man was not my father.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled out-of-breath as I sprinted towards Crescent. My teeth bared like an enraged dog as I ran, faster and faster. My head felt dizzy.

_"Shine,_" I gasped. As I swung, I hit him, with all the force I could possibly muster. I knew I hit him.

I knew I sliced him in half.

I knew the blood would come, splattering all over my suit.

I knew he would _shine_ just like I wanted him to.

Dazed, I felt a tear slip from my eye down to my chin, onto the soaked-with-blood part of my clothing. Making a choking sound, the metallic taste of blood spurted from my mouth, and my brain could not prcess what was happening quickly enough. One second later, the crimson colored liquid ran from my lips to my chin, and looking down, I saw his kagune pierced straight through my body.

The pain of a hot iron rod struck through me, and I felt it again as he slipped it out of my body quietly, and the thud I heard from my body fell on the floor flatly. I was immobilized as the other Investigators stood shocked at the wound Crescent made in my stomach.

I stared up at the ghoul, whose bikaku kagune dripped with my dark red blood. I felt red wine pooling under my body as I laid there, staring at my failed plan. Holding my brand new quinque, he announced, "You're not Zumi-chan. Not the one I want. The one I want is my daughter, the one I had years before he made me this _thing_."

I struggled to back away, inching my way just to hit myself against a wall.

"People change," A voice announced behind him thoughtfully.

"Investigator Taiki Rin," Crescent responded. "Is this woman my daughter?"

Taiki never got to speak again.

**Another cliffhanger. **


	15. Chapter 15: of stab wounds and real hugs

**I can't even comprehend how far I've gotten...this is a first. Chapter 15 everyone! Just saying this isn't intended to be perfect. I want this to be my first debut story with more than 13 chapters, and because I'm 13, I'm not exactly the best writer. Gotta give that title to the experienced, older, vocabulary-enriched authors.**

**I've noticed that the past chapters are worse than the later chapters...yeah gotta edit those out...**

The bright lights of the white-painted room completely blinded me. I could not comprehend what had happened at the moment, but I knew that my abdomen was pierced through. How did I survive that attack? The slick red blood was all over my body by the time they rushed me.

"Kazu-_channnn_," I heard Juuzou whisper above me.

"J-Juuzou...what happen..ed?" I asked weakly. Looking around the room, I tried to spot Taiki, but he wasn't there. "Where's..T-Taiki...?"

"Taiki...Taiki," Juuzou repeated, as if he didn't want to say a single word to me.

"What?" I wondered what had actually happened.

"Taiki's...dead," Juuzou announced.

Dead?

No, he wasn't dead. He's just perfectly fine...

"What actually happened?" I thought Juuzou was just joking around like the five-year-old he was.

"He got stabbed to death," Shinohara-san said behind Juuzou.

"No he didn't. You-You're lying...!" I said.

"Crescent is also dead," Shinohara spoke again.

"Taiki...he's...not...he's not dead...you're just messing with me, right?" I tried saying again, shakily.

"He's confirmed dead. As for Crescent, we verified that he was not mentally insane or any sort. They're doing an autopsy for research and if, by any chance, he was your father like he said. I doubt it, though, so don't worry about it," Shinohara replied, quietly walking away.

_Taiki...?_

No.

"Juzu-kun, could you stay here for a moment?" I asked wearily.

"Okayyyy!" He happily wandered over to my side. Plopping himself on the bed, I winced. "Oh, sorry!"

"I-it's fine. Just hurts a bit, that's all," I whispered. Sitting up, I asked him, "How can you just...be so...calm in the midst of this?"

"I don't know, I don't care," Juuzou giggled his trademark giggle. "Besides, I only like you and Shinohara-san. Everyone else is really...meaningless if you think about it." Silently, I smiled weakly.

"Smile! Don't be sad..." Juuzou grinned. "I love you and you should love us too!"

For the first time, I looked at him in a different way. I blushed for a moment.

"Love...? D-don't be silly," I tried to say.

"I do! At least, I think I do!" Juuzou exclaimed. "So don't be sad," he said quietly.

"I'm not s-sad..." My voice shaked. My hand shook.

"You're crying again, Kazu-chan. You cry a lot," Juuzou said.

"I don't care."

Pulling out a lollipop, he unwrapped it, the crinkling of the paper ringing throughout the room. He handed it to me gently, wiping my tears. Smiling, he said, "Please...be happy...I hate seeing you sad..."

I kissed him on the cheek. "I...won't b-be sad..."

His cheek felt warm on my lips.

My own cheeks were burning as I turned away. I slowly sucked on the sweet candy, my favorite candy, that Juuzou always liked to bring for me.

Juuzou.

Covering my face with my bloodied hands, I quietly contemplated what had happened.

Taiki?

No.

What about his wife? What would she do? She was...going to be pregnant...going to have a life. How would she live with herself?

"Kaa-san...help me..." I whispered.

_"I love you and you should love us too!" _

"I...miss...everything..." My voice shook as I spoke the soft words.

I felt arms wrapping around me. Were they kaa-san's? Were they oto-san's?

_Were they Juuzou's?_ I let myself think. But I didn't care. I sank into the warmth of their arms, so inviting, so...perfect. They had to be kaa-san's. When I looked up, the whole world was blurry. But between the furious blinks of my eyes, I saw Juuzou. "D-D-don't...leave me..." I whispered.

Instead of answering, he just held me there, smiling, murmuring comforting words as I continued to sob.

We sat like that for a long, long time. Or at least, to me, it felt like forever.

"I have to go, Kazu-chan!"

_Don't go._

_Don't leave me here._

_It's dark._

"Okay, Juuzou-kun."

_Don't go, Juuzou._

_Please, just sit here with me._

_Please stay._

"I'll see you later!" He smiled.

After the door was closed, I drifted slowly to sleep, knowing what a real hug felt like.

I knew, for the first time, who Juuzou was actually.

He, I realized, gave me reason, along with everyone else.

And I promised that I'd never let him go.

**WELL HELLO AGAIN**

**This chapter was the first time Kazumi held romantic feelings for Juuzou.**

**So. It's only going to continue from here...I'm so excited! **

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing! **


	16. Chapter 16: of ghouls and confusion

**Don't forget to leave a comment, fave, o****r a follow! Thank you, as well, for reading this story!**

The day of the full-out battle against the ghouls and Aogiri? It was a death wish, an indefinite death wish.I held my head high, knowing I had written that note on that single scroll of paper. Death. I had heard a rumor floating around that the Owl was getting stronger, Aogiri was ever more powerful. So many ghouls in the damn organization.

Why would they join? Why can't they just be off on their own?

But those small fry, they can't do anything without help, to even throw a punch at one of us. Would the CCG have enough people, power...hope? I had been anxiously waiting the announcement. I had healed a month or two **[time skip]** ago, and was waiting quite a while for the announcement of a major battle.

Since then, I'd had not much to give upon. It was just me against the ghoul world. Of course, Juuzou was my friend, but, he didn't very much care for anyone. Maybe he liked Shinohara, but, me? I was merely a friend to him.

Not to me.

I wish he'd pay more attention to me. That was a deep little secret of mine. If he actually loved me as more than just a person in his swell life...if he'd just stitch me up too...stitch up all my sorrows. I knew he'd never come to love me. It caused a considerable amount of heartache, but it was was okay. Right?

I watched him from afar, constantly following him, like a small puppy leashed to their owner.

Always.

But the battle would begin soon. The war. And I, though ready...could die. And I, though good to go...knew Juuzou could die too. There was no time to think about Juuzou anymore. Any notes I had made were for nobody, but the whole of humanity. There were no people who knew about the true danger, other than them eating humans.

I didn't know what was to come.

* * *

_After the Aogiri battle_

**{These are always annoying-but as I lose inspiration in this story, I need to cut to the chase. There's still a long way to go.}**

I woke up somewhere foreign. Where was Seidou? He was supposed to be there. My mind felt foggy- and there was an inexplicable hunger weaving its way through my stomach. The pain echoed, but it was not from injury.

I needed food. Imagining kaa-san's cooking was not enough. It actually made me...less hungry. A ravenous knot twisted and churned within, and suddenly, a door, I did not know where, I was too hungry to think correctly, creaked open.

A man.

He smelled horrible. I did not know why this sense was so keen all of a sudden, I usually couldn't ever smell smoke inside a kitchen too well. His glistening smile made me ever so disgusted. But as I tried to get away from him, I realized I was confined in a space too small.

"Well, you're not dead, eh?" He said, devilish grin spreading wide.

Was I dead? No, I wasn't. "Of-of course not," My words were a bit jumbled. _Food. Hungry. Blood. Flesh._

Flesh?

"Food," I said out loud.

The man seemed interested. "Food...what kind of food? Human food? Or would you like _humans_?" He inquired.

"Of course I want human food- I'm not a ghoul," I retorted. Why would he ask me for humans _to eat_?

Hunger.

I bit into my lip, attempting to stifle the gnawing in my stomach. I bit on it so hard, it began to trickle out blood. Tasting it made me want more for some reason. It tasted...almost...like sweet, sugary liquid, like...soda. It was rich. Thirst-quenching.

"Don't drink your own blood," A high-pitched, sweet girl's voice ran through my mind. Looking ahead, I saw a girl. But it could have been a woman. Her whole body, covered in papery bandages and with a hood on her head...it seemed surreal. "Have this," she laughed and tossed some package towards me. It smelled...heavenly. I was like a dog. Looking for something to eat.

"What is it?" I asked. My tongue longed to visit it and my mouth watered.

"It's something you'll like..." She said and twirled.

Opening it, I immediately caught the sweet scent. What was it? I didn't pay attention, just wolfed it down. It tasted _so _good, better than any food ever tasted, so wonderful. So hungry...more. I needed more.

More.

She let me out, and I saw others. People...was in an experiment? Human experimentation? I tried to locate my quinque. "Your weapon isn't here anymore..." The girl whispered.

Without knowing it, I collapsed into darkness.

* * *

"Where am I?" I tried to speak. It didn't come out like I wanted to.

"Where am I?!" I tried to say again.

"Ghoul girl, you're alive!" said the bandage girl with a cunning smile. "We wanted to see if you would survive. And you did! But you'll need more food! And proper training. Kanou's experiment successfully turned you into a hybrid!"

_What? I'm not a ghoul._

"So, join us. We'll help you," she said. "Aogiri will help you."

_"Aogiri?" _"I don't-"

"No? See what Tatara has to say, then. He'll give you a beating if you don't obey!" She laughed, almost in a sing-song tone.

"Then- I don't know. I'm...human...I'm not-" The man from earlier interrupted me.

"You're a ghoul, now."

"Get...no...food...no-no..." I trailed off. Ghoul?

Hunger.

Pain from hunger.

_Eat_, a voice said in my head. _You need to eat._

"If I'm a ghoul..." I choked out, sickened by these words. "then why could I eat human food, like the food you gave me?"

"That was not human food," The man said.

_Am I dreaming?_

"That was part of a human you ate."

_That sly girl seems too real in this world to tell. _

**A/N: I just had to cut to the chase. If I'm going to run out of inspiration, may as well write more chapters and get to Juuzou before anything else happens. **


	17. Chapter 17: what have i become?

-what have i become?

_three months later_

Thoughts immerse in my head, waiting to be spoken, only never said. I am too afraid to speak. I am afraid of them. I have waited to return. I have not returned for so long. I became hungrier.

For flesh, yes.

But even more for life.

They took away my _life_. They took away my _love_. My _voice_. I am alone, left to ravage the world with my infected mind. My eyelids search for the delicious taste of flesh, the quenching scent of blood every single moment. It does not take even seconds to dismember my victims. I am a savage, a barbarian _thing_ with only a body and no heart.

I live now only to kill.

I am a sick being. Fueled by the pain of other's souls, pleasured by crimson red wine. I accepted the evil voice in my head and went on to survive. I met many humans whose darkened fate was to die for my needs.

"This is my territory, you bitch," Other ghouls said to me. I would have eaten them too, if the humans weren't so tasty. I feasted on their intestines and savored their arms happily while crunching on their crispy bones, sucking out the marrow, guzzling their red nectar.

It was beyond delicious.

I didn't need to miss anyone. No, not that little stitches boy, Suzuya. No, not that man named Takizawa. He had white locks now, draping down that hood of his, and a menacing look about him that I chose to ignore. That sweet boy was so nice to me. But that sweet boy only snarled at me and bellowed for me to go bother someone else. His sideways smiles turned into ravenous sneers. His cute little blushes were turned into constant bloodstains. I had seen him quickly twist around heads of Investigators, gulping down the blood that dripped from above.

My mother was long dead, and my father was proven dead.

I laughed, and although it was only in my mind, I laughed.

Though Suzuya still haunted me sometimes. Or was it Suzuya? I did not know. Sometimes I would hear a ringing, piercing laugh, maybe I would see his barrettes forming 'XIII' and most of all, I would see his stitches that I hated the most about him, yet always loved about.

Even if I wanted to, I could not call for him. No, I could not attract attention for my death. That was only part of it. But I was too afraid to speak. _They_ would be there, and I saw all of my blood spatter to the ground endlessly. My screams vibrated endlessly without warning, and when _they_ were finally done, tears still formed in a pool as I curled myself into a ball, _rocking, rocking, rocking._ _They_ took my destroyed organs and replaced them with other ghouls' organs to their interest, and their hopeful souls wished for me to become a new kind of half-ghoul. Maybe one with two types of kagune, maybe, maybe, maybe.

* * *

_'Help me, help me, help me,'_ I whispered in my mind.

"Perfect..." The man named Dr. Kanou said. "Look at you..." He said with a cold, small smile.

"How do you feel...?" Eto said, looking down at me, as if I were just another one of her toys.

"..." I did not speak.

"..."

"..."

_'Help me.'_

"Can you even talk?" She smiled, pleased with herself. "Good. You won't bother us like that anymore, unlike that Takizawa who always mentions that stupid little Akira Mado dove girl. He can be _so_ worthless sometimes. Don't you think, Tatara...? Won't you just have fun with tiny Kazumi here?"

_'Help me.'_

"Feel free to take her. She's a successful experimentation," Kanou's eyes shone in the dim light. "She's going to be a good one. It's rinkaku kagune, definitely, but she has wings like an ukaku. I think those two ghouls infused in her really did something. The rinkaku dominates and she can't release the crystals from her ukaku wings. But it's a step forward."

"She'll heal like Ken Kaneki, though, what, 10 percent slower?" He added and started picking up files.

Eto squealed. "Tatara! Make her join Aogiri!"

He simply nodded and took a step forward to me, slowly, looking me up and down, as if I were an animal on a platter, waiting to be cooked and roasted and plucked like a chicken.

"Welcome to Aogiri."

.

* * *

I ached all over. My entire kagune was ripped apart, it was like a shredded piece of paper by now. My fingers, popped off like feathers, were not hesitant to make me screech inside. Howls and cries of pain coming from my own lips rang like loud bells across the room.

"So you can scream but cannot talk. Interesting," Tatara spoke in his usual cold voice. "I'm done with you. And now I know that you can't talk..."

I looked at him, wide-eyed. _Juuzou. Taiki. Shinohara. Akira. Amon. Takizawa. _

I stared at him blankly, not saying a word, not thinking, just stared deep in his eyes, praying.

"You're in Aogiri, ghoul."

_Ghoul. Ghoul. Ghoul._

_'I'm sure I am in Aogiri. What else am I? I'm lowly ghoul scum now,' _voices said in my head.

I nodded and curled up into my little ball again, softly and shakily breathing. I didn't want him to hurt me again. It hurt so much. No more talking. No.

Never, never again.

**EXTREMELY IMPORTANT A/N: Some foreshadowing there, I suppose. Basically this chapter was relevant because Kazumi's a half-ghoul, under the intense experimental trauma she went during her second surgery to become a hybrid half-ghoul and the torture that came shortly after from Tatara, it made her mute from severe psychological trauma. They forcibly lured her into Aogiri because she was objecting that she was a ghoul and would never be in Aogiri. ****But even though nonselective mutes cannot speak, they can make sounds like screaming and crying and such. **

**I have no idea if Kazumi is now a Mary Sue but she's not supposed to be. Her hybrid Kagune led to her muteness. It is a mix of ukaku wings that can still stretch like normal but cannot crystallize and rinkaku tentacles, kind of like Hinami's but I'm not sure if that's rinkaku but the style is like that but only that way and somewhat weaker. Kazumi takes longer to heal and needs to eat more due to her RC level. **

**Hope that cleared things up. Thank you for reading!**


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